Gave Everything Up - V1C17
Volume 1, Chapter 17:
Why?
House, school, part-time job. It didn't
matter where I was. Wherever it may be, I wasn’t going to receive any kind of
love. I knew that. That's why I had given up on everything. I should have given
up, but...I hadn't been myself lately.
Why was that? Why was I losing my cool? It
should just be the same as usual. Wake up in the morning, go to my part-time
job, return to my house and go to bed. That was all there was in my life. Just
chugging along mechanically day by day.
With this kind of life, I should have given
up on everything. I had wanted to be loved by my mother, Nana, and Sayaka. But
that wish didn't come true. That's why I gave up. Right, I had given up on
everything. I didn't want to be loved anymore. That should be the case.
That's why I just repeated my usual
routine.
"...Good morning, Manato."
As I was heading to school, Ayano was
waiting for me.
"Ayano? Is there something
wrong?"
Why was she waiting? Now that I had broken
our bond as childhood friends, she shouldn't have to deal with me anymore.
"...Like I thought, you wouldn't call
me by my name."
"Did you say something?"
Her voice was too quiet. I couldn't hear
well.
"...No, it's nothing."
"I see. So, why were you
waiting?"
I asked her about what I wanted to hear the
most.
"...I just thought I'd go to school
with Manato."
Just why. Didn't she like that senpai of
hers?
"...Why is that?"
I said what I was thinking out loud...
"Because I like Manato."
"Huh?"
I didn't understand what she just said.
"Like I said, I like Manato."
"...No, what are you talking
about?"
What did she really even mean by that?
"I like Manato. How about you,
Manato?"
If I was asked before, the answer to that
would have been that I liked her as well.
"...I don't like Ayano."
But now it was different. Those feelings of
love that I had for Ayano was completely gone.
"Why?"
What did you mean why?
"Hey, why don't you like me?"
"...Huh?"
Why did she ask the reason why I didn't
like her?
"Do you like that person after
all?"
"That person?"
Who did she mean? Even when I racked my
brains, I couldn't find the answer.
"That girl at your part-time
job."
"...How did you know I was working
part-time?"
Some kind of feeling sprouted inside my
heart. A feeling of fear. How did she even know I had a part-time job? And
about Hisai-san as well? I shouldn't have told anything to Ayano.
"That doesn't matter. So, you like
that person after all."
I guess I was being misunderstood, but I
didn't think anything of Hisai-san.
"I don't really have any feelings for
her, though?"
I told her honestly.
"You're lying. Manato was smiling. You
never smiled like that when you were with me."
Was I smiling? I couldn't remember.
"That's just a coincidence."
It was getting kind of troublesome...
"Then why did it have to be
coincidentally that person? Not me?"
...
"Can I go now?"
Somehow, talking to Ayano was becoming a
chore. And so, I asked her if she could let me go...
"Of course, not? We're not done yet,
you know?"
"I don't have anything to talk to you
anymore."
So I said as I turned my back to Ayano and
started walking, but then she grabbed me by the shoulders.
"Hey, I told you not yet."
Ahh, what a pain in the ass.
"What."
I was a in a bit of a bad mood, and the
voice of my voice dropped.
"D-don't get mad at me..."
Unexpectedly, Sayaka replied that.
"...I'm going."
I told her that and moved my feet again
towards school.
"Manato..."
The girl behind him could only mutter so.
With that, ayano fucked everything up.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if there is some kind of progress to be expected or if the MC stays in that annoying kind of character all the time. I mean I don´t know if I should call him selfish, self-centered or even more. I mean currently I don´t know what kind of redeeming aspects that character can even have. Currently I don´t feel any pity for the MC at all, though that is what I feel pretty much all the time, when I read novels about betrayal and abandonment - I feel pity, anger towards the people who mistreated the MC and so on - just not this time! I mean that kind of social and empathic cripple who doesn´t try even try to feel for his surrounding and just judges without really giving a chance to redeem I don´t like that guy at all and just feel that his surroudings feelings are wasted on him. Everybody went through a teenager phase with most of people went through people or friends accidentaly forgetting about special dates (I then asked them if something is on their mind and troubling them, because my idea wouldn´t have been that they don´t love me but that something happened - and if some friend would have told me about liking someone I would have asked who it is - but not that whining idiot!), about siblings behaving grumpy or sometimes even cruel (every halfway intelligent person even knows in puperty, that one is not the only one having troubling feelings). And the best a Single-Working-Mother who has to take care of a household and two children and the MC doesn´t understand, that she is exhausted and has too little time instead of feeling with the immense pressure, which weights down on here - what an unfeeling and ungrateful a**hole can one be to act the way the MC does? OK you can be disappointed, when you feel that your mother does not have enough time but when he is old enough to work than he should also be old enough to know and feel with the trouble of adults and how exhausting that can be and support her instead of behaving like a little spoiled self-loving b***!
ReplyDeleteI definitely hope that the author goes somewhere soon because that MCs personality makes me aggressive and somehow gives me the feeling he should really be as left alone as he thinks in his pea-brain that he is
I am on this train. To me this guy is too selfish. He gave up without trying hard enough lol
Delete"So, I saw a comment the other day that my translations weren't that great."
ReplyDeleteYour translations is good, please continue!
Whoever made that comment has no English skills; at best he reads machine translations and thinks that's normal English. What an idiot.
Thank you for translating this series. :)
I don't like how this novel so far has only been a pity party for an unlikeable MC. I hope the author goes somewhere interesting with the story in the next few chapters.
ReplyDelete"So, I saw a comment the other day that my translations weren't that great."
I've read quite a few fan translated novels and your stuff is up there in terms of quality, so don't worry.
The mc is a bit bland, i'd like him to be more self centered if anything. If it continues going the way it is the relationship is gonna be fixed at some point because of mc's "i want to be loved" attitude not because the girls are actually sorry. Make him go gym.
ReplyDeleteWow! Everyone hates the MC in the comments, huh? "He is just a self-centered childish brat", blablabla. So the effort he did all this time was "nothing much"? The disapointment of not being able to talk with the rest of your family and only be given the cold shoulder. And lets not forget the "cute childhood firend" that took his kindness for granted, never understood him, his family situation AND was after "seennnppaaaaiiiii" until being dumped, huh(and then go back to her "childhood sweetheart" only after having her ass kicked in a nice way)? It was a mix of tragedy, failures, misunderstandings and being in the wrong place, wrong time. Unless the boy was being instructed and disciplined(normally by his father)to adapt to troublesome situations(that didn't happened because the poor old man died too soon), he would burnout at some point. At least now that he decided to give up, he is starting to pay attention to the situation.
ReplyDeleteSorry I really have to ask - are you reading the same novel as the rest? I mean seriously what you state is just the impression of the MC, without any felt background in the story at all. At least I cannot find anything in the story which backs the so-called effort except him claiming so - and sorry but just because a person thinks of himself that he is a very hardworking person does not really need to be reality.
DeleteAlso I really cannot find any part in the story, where it is stated, that the childhood sweetheart tried to get her senpai - that was just the impression of that dense as diamond MC. In fact the childhood friend wanted the senpais help in getting the MC noticing her interest in him.
Also that MC seems to have an awesome talent in reaching all the wrong conclusions without really trying to see the side of the other person - that by the way is the reason why I do not feel sorry for the MC but for the rest of the characters having to deal with a person like that.
And believe me my childhood has been everything except flowers. I could have ended up in a lot of ways if I would have had a character like that MC and that is why I do not like him. He has no empathy and only soaks in self pity instead of trying to get his head out of the trash bin
" At least I cannot find anything in the story which backs the so-called effort except him claiming so"
DeleteThe mother said that her son learn to do anything at home and take care of his sis when she is working. He also tries to talk to a wall sister for 6 months and seem used to beg his mother to cook him something just one time.
"Also I really cannot find any part in the story, where it is stated, that the childhood sweetheart tried to get her senpai "
Well, she did in her POV. She only looks at MC after being dumped by the sempai. She asks for help after that.
"Also that MC seems to have an awesome talent in reaching all the wrong conclusions without really trying to see the side of the other person"
Like the time when his sis told him he was annoying after he tries talking to her ?
Or the time the mum decided that the surprise birthday party was more important that her son believing he wasn't loved ? (I mean, I understand the misunderstanding here, but she should have throw that "suprise" away and told him she loved him, that she has prepared something for him. After it was too late, she could have done it after he told her)
There is also the confession, that I didn't get either. (On what way, he does something dangerous ? How could he understand she was talking about him ? I have no idea)
Oh yeah, the whispering between mother and daughter while no one entertain a proper conversation with him for a while, maybe years at worst.
The childhood friend shouldn't have given up on letting him go and should've been dere dere all over him. Last thing you want to show to a depressed kid is showing your feelings half-heartedly.
ReplyDeleteBtw, from reading the comments, I too don't feel much pity for him since I think the story is a bit weak. Imo, he should've ran away after his birthday and went for a self searching journey
similar to Catcher in the Rye which is a really good story on adolescent depression.