Gave Everything Up - V1C19
Volume 1, Chapter 19:
True Identity
I saw that girl again on my way to school
this morning. It wasn't just me who noticed her. She stared in my direction as
well.
A complete stranger. When your eyes meet
with someone like that, it was normal to look away. And so, I turned my head to
the left and did look away. But that girl kept staring at me. What was it? Did
I know her? No, that shouldn't be the case. If I knew someone that showy, I
would have recognized her immediately.
Next to her was that guy. Ayano's favorite
person.
...As expected, those two should be dating,
right? That would mean Ayano had an unrequited love. Haha, just like me.
It was more difficult for me, though.
Then, what was up with that guy? Even
though she had a girlfriend, she was still being suggestive to Ayano.
"That ticks me off."
Those words that came out of my mouth
wasn't out of concern for Ayano. It was because I was frustrated instead.
It wouldn’t matter what I said. That's just
how he was. That's all there was to it.
The girl still kept her gaze on me, and it
was getting creepy, but I passed by them without caring too much. As I did, I
heard their voices.
"Aika? Where have you been looking at since
a while ago?"
Aika? It felt like I had heard that name
somewhere...just where?
"I-it's nothing~. Come on! Let's
go!"
Well, Aika wasn't really an uncommon name.
I thought that as I walked.
-------------------------------------------------------
"H-hey. Tamaki-kun."
"What is it?"
I was at my part-time job again today.
Then, Hisai-san spoke to me.
"...Y-you shouldn't really be that
familiar with everyone, right?"
...What was this? As you can imagine, even
I would get irritated if I get asked that so persistently.
"...Why is that? Why do you want to
know that?"
Annoyed and low-toned. Anyone would be as
well if they get asked the same question over and over again. It just happened
to be me. But I would still get annoyed.
"S-sorry! I didn't mean to make you
angry..."
Wasn't she a senpai? Why was she even tiptoeing
with me?
"What do you even want to know from
this?"
Hisai-san was probably asking in a
roundabout way. And so, I would go at it directly instead. I was that kind of
person. I asked her that question.
"I-it's nothing. Really. D-don't mind
it, okay?"
Snap.
Something broke inside of me.
"Enough already, please! What is it
that you've been wanting to say?! If there's something, say it clearly!"
I wonder when. The last time I raised my
voice like this. No, this might have been the first time. I hadn't exploded
like this before.
"I-I'm sorry! I-I'll tell!"
Hisai-san, who was speaking politely for
some reason, replied.
"T-that, I was just wondering if you
have seen me at school..."
Seen Hisai-san?
"Seen..."
For a moment, that girl came to mind. That
girl next to the guy Ayano liked.
"..."
"H-have you seen me?"
I thought it over. In front of me was
Hisai-san in glasses and plain clothes. It was completely different from that
girl. But then some time ago, the manager said, 'She's completely different at
school. She dressed showily, had her glasses off, and her manner of speech
wasn’t anything like it was right now.'
"...Maybe it was you this
morning?"
I asked her that question.
"Ah, ahhhhh....I was seen...He saw
me..."
What an easy-to-understand reaction. That
girl I saw earlier was without a doubt, Hisai-san.
"Sure enough, that girl I met in the
morning really was Hisai-san."
I was convinced and said so.
"...Yes. That is correct."
I wondered why was still speaking politely,
but then she didn't.
"Please! Please don't tell
Harasaki-kun!"
Harasaki was probably that guy next to
Hisai-san.
"Sure."
I replied.
"Huh? R-really?"
"Yeah, really."
"T-thanks..."
"But, please answer me one
thing."
When I said that, Hisai-san's face turned
blue. She was wondering what I was going to ask. That was the expression on her
face.
"...Why do you change yourself at
school?"
After I asked her that, a short silence
followed.
"...Because if I don't, then no one
will love me."
The face when Hisai-san when she said that
was a face I knew well.
It was a look that had given up on everything.
"Ah, ahaha. It's funny, huh. Everyone
else wants to be loved for who they really are, but I try to change myself just
to be loved..."
"That's not necessarily the case."
I said so clearly.
"Huh?"
"I don't have as bad of a family
environment at home like Hisai-san, but I understand exactly how you feel. Is
there something wrong with trying to change yourself to be loved?"
"B-but it's like I'm a fake..."
"It's fine if it's fake. Surely
everyone is a fake then, right? They are afraid to expose their true selves.
That's why what you're doing isn't necessarily a bad thing."
"I wonder if that's true..."
"Yeah, it is. It's normal to want to
be loved."
"Tamaki-kun..."
Well, I gave up on that, though.
"...Thank you. Somehow, my heart feels
a bit lighter."
"...No problem."
"Tamaki-kun?"
Right. I gave up. Maybe that's why? The
reason why Hisai-san, who was working so hard, looked so bright.
"Sorry for yelling at you earlier."
"Don't apologize. Rather, thank
you."
What did she mean? Why was I being thanked?
"I thought I wasn't doing something
right."
...Hisai-san was a strong person.
"...Then, should we go back to
work?"
"Yes!"
I was sure it wasn't my imagination that I
was paid a bit more that day.
It's been 19 chapters and there had absolutely been zero significant progress. I'm losing interest already. Why is this even among the top-ranked monthly?
ReplyDeleteNot to mention, the way this author writes is an absolute pain in the butt to translate. Everything is fragmented and repetitive.
Help. (´。＿。｀)
.......FUH....i guess we were expecting something else from the synopsis.
DeleteIt has happened many times to me that a novel with a good premise completely became a disappointment around the middle or at the end. It starts good but then goes downhill at god-speed.
We should always remember that japs. taste might not always be tuned with ours.
In the worst case you should dropp it and choose another one.
Don't feel forced to keep translating this series if it isn't interesting for you. Unless it gets really good later on, I'm pretty done with it myself. There are other series you could be using your precious time to translate.
DeleteI agree. I started out thinking this might be a slow burn redemption but now I'm just pattern reading it by habit mostly because it updates the same time as the other story I actually like.
DeleteThis chapter is also fucked up again.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, im not hating the series, its keeping my interest despite everything, im just very curious where the author is planning on going with it
ReplyDeleteI expected more from this wn. But characters are plain, they dont behave like humans but just tools for the script. Mc gave up fast and put low effort in mending his relationships. Self centered ungratefull to his mother she works hard to give the best to him. Anyway if mc tryed harder i would have liked him but he never tryed to better himself just waited for others to do everything.
ReplyDeleteWow. It seems you still have lots more to work on your empathy.
Delete1. He's a child. Still going to school.
2. His FATHER died from overwork.
3. For over 180 days his MOTHER left him to himself, only greeting him. No more conversation and even simple requests denied.
4. For over 180 days his SISTER either ignored him or gave mean replies.
5. And then came the childhood friend who talked in annoying roundabout way and considering his last 180 days he thought she was the same as his family, leaving him.
6. He's basically living with 2 strangers in the same house, when talking to them he only gets negative feedback or none at all. He feels no connection with either of them, making him feel insecure and not safe nor happy at HOME.
Obviously he'll change. In this case he gave up on them.